


Our Vow

by ladyseleniel



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Blood and Torture, Blood and Violence, Dark Alistair (Dragon Age), Language, Lesbian Character, Multi, OOC, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 07:53:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19421680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyseleniel/pseuds/ladyseleniel
Summary: Lady Cousland who hates being a Grey Warden and all those talks about sacrifices and duty, angry Warden veteran Alistair and very bold elven mage Kaya get in the way of the Fifth Blight. Novelization with author's inserts, OOC, missing scenes and everything that I would love to add in this game.





	Our Vow

Ostagar, although it was in a half-ruined state, struck her by its monumentality. High columns, walls, and towers made for centuries radiated greatness and strength even with thorns and green covering it. But even if Deynatara Cousland could saw the previous magnificence of this place, Ostagar still was a ruin. Huge pieces of white stone were lying on the ground for centuries while only thin trees and bushes were keeping them company before the King’s army arrived. Guards, help, and others run past them, smell of fresh leather and dirt filled her nostrils. Right now, riding on horseback through the sea of leather and chainmail, while screams and clang of steel disturbed the ancient peace of this place, Deynatara wished she could be alone again. It was the fourth day after Duncan took her from Highever, conscripting her as a Grey Warden against her will and making her abandon her family to the hands of traitors. Her throat was sore from being quiet for so long. She barely spoke all those days and Duncan didn’t try to make her. Silence became something comforting for her, something in what she could hide. If you ignore your pain, it is so easy to pretend there is none. But once again in the middle of so much life, she couldn’t stop the memories of that slaughter from coming again and again. She looked at the King’s soldiers and saw Howe’s men covered in her people’s blood. She saw the gleam of steel and imagined a sword like that piercing through her Father. She concentrated so hard on keeping her face straight that she no longer saw the world around her.

She realized that had stopped when someone touched her hand. She was gripping the reins so tightly that her fingers turned white and numb. Duncan looked at her from the ground and the sincere sorrow in his eyes made her more nauseous than any gore. He didn’t have the right to pity her – he was the one who made her leave her parents. He was the one who took away her chance to save them. In a matter of seconds, her grief turned into a blazing fire of anger. Anger is always better than pain. Deynatara jumped off from her horse and raised her head high, defiantly ignoring his hand.

They gave their horses to the elven stable boy, who looked at Duncan’s Grey Warden armor with pure admiration. Deyna rolled her eyes on this. Her own anger and contempt toward Duncan made the whole order look hypocrite and despiteful. Deep inside she knew she’s wrong, but having someone to hate instead of crying was just too good to let it go. She let herself melt in her own poison as Duncan silently led them deeper into the ancient fortress. Mabari followed his mistress’s steps, imitating her proud gait with his head raised and slow, graceful movements. Lord was too smart to be born a dog.

Suddenly, Duncan stopped before six tall men in white-and-gold polished armor. A man with long golden hair, freshly shaved and clean came out from behind them. Ferelden coat of arms glittered on his chest, gold shining like million little suns. He wasn’t small or short, but still, he was a head shorter than his guards. Deyna recognized him even before she saw his face. The Royal Palace of Denerim was like a second home to her and King Cailan had been her friend long before he was King. The nobility of Ferelden is not a big circle – all noble kids know each other. She just was lucky to actually make friends among them. Due to her Father’s close work with the King, Deynatara spent most of her childhood with prince Cailan and Lady Anora Mac Tir. It was only fitting that the King’s son and the last two teyrns’ daughters would get together. After all, arranged marriage feels better if the two are friends.

All those four days she dreamt about seeing someone familiar, a friend with whom she could cry her eyes out and have a small moment of weakness and grief. She thought a friend would make her feel herself stronger, less alone, but it was like she saw him through the glass; close, but unreachable. There was an abyss of etiquette, duties, and rules between them now. Being just friends was a luxury neither could afford and she never was more sorry about it. Deynatara swallowed the gag in her throat and bowed in a soldier style. She could almost saw the sour face her mother would’ve made at the sight. Seeing Cailan may not gave her comfort, but it gave her so much needed strength. Remainder that no matter what, she still is Lady Cousland, daughter of teyrn and must act like so. Once they straightened, her face was a perfectly schooled calm.

“You’re finally here!” King exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. He looked like a diamond in a pile of dirt in his shiny gold armor. He was always pretty, but age made him look even more like a storybook prince ready to slay a dragon for a lady he loves. Still, she somewhat couldn’t imagine him on a battlefield, covered in blood from head to toe, dirty, tired, and fighting for his life.

“Your Majesty,” Duncan pointed at Deyna with his hand. “Let me introduce our newest recruit…”

“No need,” he waved his hand and smiled warmly to her. The kind of smile people share when they have a common secret. She found will to smile back. “Lady Deynatara, pleasure to meet you. Unexpected, but definitely a pleasant surprise. I already met your brother Fergus, but we are still waiting for your father.”

“All pleasure is mine, Your Majesty,” her smile faltered and gave place to a blank expression. She knew she can burst in tears right now and he wouldn’t judge, but it wasn’t about him. It was about everyone looking at her and seeing a little noble girl, too far from her home and comfort. She wasn’t this little girl and she need to show it. Her voice was steady, even if it killed her to say these words. “My father... is dead, Your Majesty. Arl Howe betrayed our family and murdered my parents.”

“What?” Cailan stared at her. It wasn’t a King who looked at her, but a person who knew her and her parents all his life. Duncan nodded grimly. “Except my deepest condolences, my lady. Your family is highly respected and I personally will see justice done.”

Grief in his eyes was so sincere. Some part of her wished it were fake, because his dimmed eyes were a mirror of her own. She wanted to hug him like old times, but she only looked at him, letting her eyes tell the story her words couldn’t. Duncan offered comfort, but he didn’t feel it like she and Cailan did. Seeing someone who shared her pain somehow made it hurt even more.

“Thank you, my King.”

She saw his inner fight, the same she had a moment before. Being a King or a friend, a human? She thought he would reach for her, but he restrained himself, choosing the King’s part. Just as she. Finally, he spoke and even with all those people around, the words were meant only for her. “I doubt that mere words can ease a daughter’s grief, but you have my word, Deyna. He will be punished.”

He pinned her with a look so serious it made her eyes sting. She didn’t doubt he meant it. Keeping her face under the control became heavier and heavier. She bowed again just to avoid looking in his eyes.

“Can I see my brother, Your Majesty?”

“I’m afraid it’s not possible at the moment,” the words came out a little too dry. “Fergus left with scouts in Korcari Wilds and wouldn’t be back until the battle’s end. All I can offer you now, my lady, is to set yourself in the camp and take out your anger on the darkspawn.”

“I’ll try to, Your Majesty.”

She felt regret and relief at the same time. She wanted to meet Fergus, to cry on his shoulder and feel his arms around her, whispering words of comfort, but she didn’t want to tell him about their parents. He had all rights to know, but she just couldn’t make herself say it to him knowing how many pain it would bring. She was grateful for this little delay.

“We had news from Arl Eamon too Your Majesty.” Duncan said. “Redcliffe forces will be here by the end of the week.”

Deyna knew Arl Eamon well. He was King’s uncle and important person in the kingdom. Nobles of Ferelden still arguing about whose words are weightier: his or teyrn Loghain’s. She personally bet on Eamon.

“Eamon just wants his part of glory,” Cailan chuckled. “We’ve already won a few battles against those creatures and tomorrow should be no different.”

“It seems that everything going well Your Majesty,” it is good if she wouldn’t risk her life tomorrow. Dying on the battlefield would not bring Howe to justice.

“There can be no other way. It will be glorious! King riding side by side with mighty Grey Wardens, just like in old legends.”

King’s eyes lit with colorful pictures of his imagination. Deynatara hid her smile. Something never changes, like Cailan’s fascination in legends and tales. He never let go of his books in childhood, but Deyna was sure he would forget about it when he grow up. One of his guards bent to him and whispered something in his ear. King Cailan’s face darkened for a little.

“I’m sorry, but I must be on my way,” he said to her and Duncan. “Loghain is waiting for me in the commander’s tents. I hope we will talk again Lady Cousland,” he smiled to her and left in the ring of his bodyguards.

Deyna felt herself smiling. It was good to meet a familiar face. Cailan always was a very pleasant man and she felt urge to speak to him again, because it helped her to feel herself normal, to forget about horrors of her life. Duncan’s face only woke despise in her. Grey Warden went forward and Cousland followed him for lack of other options.

“The king doesn't take the situation seriously. He believes that this large-scale raid,” she thought he wanted to say something, but restrained himself, and Deynatara wasn’t in the mood to listen him anyways. She never was. She just went silently beside him, trying not to think about darkspawn and her possible death in tomorrow battle. Blight or no Blight, darkspawn are dangerous. If it is indeed a Blight then they will tell her about it, as to a future Grey Warden, but now she was in a lousy mood and she didn’t want to spoil it even more. “But back to other matters. You and the rest of the recruits need to go through the Joining. All Grey Wardens goes through it, but it requires special preparation. You're free to explore the camp, but please don't go outside it. Feed yourself, your dog. When you're ready, find the Grey Warden named Alistair, he'll help with the preparations.

“I’m not the only one?” She asked.

“No, there are three other recruits. You will find them in the camp, I guess.”

Very informative. But what she had expected from him? Deynatara nodded. They went to a large half-ruined stone bridge over the precipice from where the view was truly breathtaking. Without waiting for him, she moved down to the bridge, Lord following her every step. Duncan called out to her.

“Welcome, Deynatara,” he smiled warmly. She didn’t responded or smiled in return, just nodded and continued to walk. Every step felt like she was ripping a piece of herself, trying the taste of her new life. The life she didn’t choose.


End file.
